Thursday, November 30, 2006

Charlie Chaplin is alive and well ... in me anyway.
I just went for a 2nd job interview and after I came out and was on the bus to work.... I realised that I hadn't cleaned the mascara from under one of my eyes....
Wah wah wah waaaahhhhhh!!!!
Had a few wines last night with Trish for Markys birthday. What an amusing night. We went to this pancake place but me being me (well, both Trish and I actually) our eyes were too big for our belly and we couldn't order any desert pancakes cos we were full... they looked good though!!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

In one of the books i am reading, it talks about when you remember or think of something you add something new to the memory or adjust it if you will. I guess its like taking out a file and making notes and then putting it back; And the way you put the memory back is the way you will remember it again.

Interesting isn't it?

It makes sense; for example how about when someone really likes someone but they are are a complete arse.. they tend to just think about/remember all of the good things about them and edit out the bad. Thus when they next think about them its all glitter and fluff.

So do you think you can somehow control how you want to feel about things to a certain extent? I guess you really would have to manipulate your own thoughts really.

I like this idea..

Monday, November 27, 2006

Dirty words?

Do you have words that you consider to bad/difficult to say ... and no I'm not talking about swear words.

I have two that i used to think i could not say. Things that people are afraid to say, or perhaps think they SHOULDN'T say.

My first one is the word selfish...i considered it bad to do ANYTHING that may be deemed as selfish. I couldn't say - I don't want to do that, I'm going to be selfish. But i sure can now.
Like when people ask you to do something you don't want to do, I used to be too polite to say no and in doing such would compromise my happiness. It all sounds rather dramatic I'm aware but its the truth. Especially when it happens over and over again.

Coming in at number two with a bullet - is the word lonely. This one is/was tougher. Something i needed to say but couldn't. Its only been this year that i have been able to let this word tumble from my mouth. Its not as scary as i thought. It CAN be misinterpreted and it most often is.. most people assume it can only relate to men but that is simply not the case. Yes it can apply to men but i must stress it does not start and end there.

Neither are dirty words, as i had thought and I'm quite content within myself to say these with out any hassle.

Tra la la

Smile - A what to do if it happens to you.

Don't avert your eyes elsewhere and keep walking - turn the corners of your mouth up and smile back you self righteous fuck!!!!!!

God i hate it here.. people are too self important to smile back at you. Instead they just stare back or like this tubby fucker i just encountered; and shift their eyes past you...

I hope i NEVER grow up to be like you mister... you sad sad creature.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Well alright, so its not raining but its still Monday.

Its not even 10am yet and i only have 3 emails in my inbox. None of which really require me to do much at all.. I'm too up to date but dare not say anything cos then i get the shit bits of work to do and i don't want to.

What a weekend. Saturday was interesting, the day didn't go how it was meant to at all. It was Iain's birthday and I was going to the races to celebrate. Looking forward to it really as i hadn't been to Randwick
I went to my cousins to get my hair done cut and coloured (had my appointment moved so i would be earlier.) but seemed to take longer than usual..
Then i got home and was getting ready and Bree called ... her car had been playing up and she hadn't left the coast yet... then 5 minutes later she called again ... her car wouldn't start.
she did get it started and came down but took our time as we really wouldn't make it to the races now anyway.
Poor Bree had had quite a day indeed.
Then we had trouble with public transport.. i thought we would never get there! Our gorgeous friend Mikey picked us up and took us to Iain's place where everyone was kicking on.
Good night but poor Bree had more dramas of the male kind and we stumbled in to my place at abut 6.30 in the morning.

Yesterday i remembered why you don't mix your drinks and i was feeling like utter shite when the Real Estate called and said they were bringing someone though to look at the house. I had to get out of bed and pretend i didn't feel like Judy Garland after a big night.

God I'm bored and stale today... stale is a really good way of describing how i feel today.
According to my star sign today;
Mon Nov 27: Soul Connection
Romance is on your mind, Virgo. Singles can expect to be consumed with a recently met lover, whilst couples are besotted with each other once more. For those who are not presently attached, new passions and interests are bearing the fruit of your efforts. This is such a warming influence that connects your emotions and your soul. Fortuitous colours are burgundy and charcoal. Lucky numbers are 38 and 70.

Really... well I'm yet to see any of that.

Hopefully i will hear back from a job i went for last week, today. But even if its a yes.. that just means more interviews... i swear I'm sick of the whole process of everything.

Next Saturday is Homebake i cant wait to see You am I!!!! WOO!! I hope its a good day. I'm sure it will be.

Man, I'm still dehydrated.... today is going to go slow as isn't it? Someone come and play with me I'm bored.

Friday, November 24, 2006


Last Sunday at the Mind, Body, Spirit festival whilst Trish was looking at Astrology charts, there was a girl standing in a both near us asking people to sign a petition to save the whales.
I started to walk towards her but a girl stepped in front of me to sign.
Do dramas, i'll wait.
Then; the girl with the petition commented on the girls signings tan... she simply said a polite 'oh thanks' and at this; Miss Save the Whales went into a long involved (and mind you.. not asked for) story about how she has been trying to 'bake' for weeks and hopes that she gets a fully sick tan like hers soon.....*shudders*
I'll interrupt at this point.. has anyone seen that episode of the Simpson's where Homer catches.. (is it Apu?) having an affair; and proceeds to walk backwards all the way home slowly but in a hunched over creeping fashion.... well... that's EXACTLY what i did.

Not that i had lost interest in the whales mind you, but i just thought you stupid, stupid girl.. save the whales but fuck your own skin eh? I didn't want to talk to her at all..

We have the knowledge now that our mothers didn't.. USE IT!!!!!! The luckiest outcome you can possibly have is looking like a leather wallet when you are 40.... mmm good luck with that.

With the amount of fake products on the market these days, and in THIS country... there is really no excuse for stupidity.

The Witching Hour

One thing i guess i should be glad about is, while the days seem long.. the week.. she goes quick.

Do you think you can have an Epiphany but then forget? I'm sure i had one last night but today its gone... perhaps it wasn't all that important at all? Or perhaps it was; and it leaked through my fingers like sand..

Its like all those grand ideas you get while you lay in bed before you drift off.. but you are too snuggly to go and get a pen to write them down.

I always get really good ideas (thats right REALLY good ones) at this witching hour and always tell myself the same thing "If its worth remembering tomorrow, you will" ..... and of course, i very seldom do.

Its always ideas for songs, or poems or some mad capped idea that i should follow through for either a) pure amusement b) love/lust or c) to earn more $/ to evolve oneself

I love the twilight hour and i think part of the reason its so hard to write these ideas down is because at that point your close to drifting off, you are relaxed and at peace... you don't really want to snap yourself out of it just cos you have thought of a mad melody...

Perhaps i should be a conceptual artist.. I mean.. art ANYTHING (which is how i really should try and look at everything)... cant you tell i just listened to a Sean Lennon interview.. hmmm

I mean.. Yoko.. with the apple and John biting it.. i love that.

Its funny, i really think i could do anything at the moment (where the hell did THAT come from) , I even have a bit of an idea for something id like to do and i think i shall follow through, it just needs a little more thought. I don't want to say cos that puts some sort of time constraint (or it would feel like it would for me) but its something creative and something to motivate and challenge me.

and I'm gagging for a challenge....

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Cellophane Flowers

The sky has gone a funny colour; It looks like all of the windows at work have been covered up with yellow cellophane.... its perdy...
Hot in the city.. indeed. Its a sweltering 38 degrees today.. last night it was so hot it was hard to fall asleep so i opened my window and got a whiff of the smell that reminds me of Summer/Christmas in Sydney..... bush fires.

They scare the hell out of me. Since i was a kid; if i could smell them at night i would mentally tick off what i would pack if we had to be moved from our house (now of course this is an over reaction as the fires have not really ever came that close to our house) but its one thing that i continue to do. Last night i mentally packed George (aka Jagger my bird... story to follow Re George) and my photo albums and then i started getting picky.. what else would i have time for/room for(of course my family are just a given)? There are bush fires raging in the Blue Mountains and today's weather doesn't look set to help. I hope the firies get it under control. These guys are amazing.. I'm not sure how they do what they do.

Last night I was watching a show about the 20 most sexiest people and of course Mr Mick Jagger was in there (Jagger during the Faithfull years.. and a little Bianca is sexy in my opinion..) but i digress.. i had George out of the cage and she was sitting on my knee; as soon as he came onto the screen she stopped and stared... and then it came to footage of him on stage doing his rooster strut and it was like she started coping..i was PISSING myself laughing... i should have called her Jagger... i have noticed her Jaggeresque moves/freak outs before but that was just the funniest coincidence..

Wow...i just got off the phone to one of the most patronising old dickheads i have had to deal with in this place... amazing... i wonder what would happen if i afforded them with the very same courtesy... just once id love to have a go. I HATE being spoken to like i am inferior to them. What a mouldy arse.

On a much more somber note;

On the weekend there was a young boy found on the side of the road dead not to far away from me... turns out i know him (not personally but is the brother of a guy i went to school with) poor bastard had a heart condition and had an attack of some sort and just fell about a block from where he lives.. just tragic. My heart goes out to their family... he was only 20.

Its things like this that make you think about how fleeting and precious it all is...

Monday, November 20, 2006

How is it Monday already... i could not get up this morning... the sleeping gods did wish me to slumber more but the buzz of my alarm would not let it be so. *sigh*

Yesterday i went to the Mind, Body, Spirit Festival with Trish. It was a good day but not what i had really expected (expectation is the root of all disappointment) but have a think about it.. what atmosphere would you expect from such an event... calm...pleasant... perhaps even enlightening if you are lucky NOPE; not here, i felt like i was at the Easter show or something with people everywhere pushing you, running you over with prams and generally in a cranky mood. That to me was interesting. let me tell you, it costs a LOT to become enlightened too... somehow i managed to spend $100 a little too easily. But i did get a few bits and pieces for massaging on the cheep so that was cool.

Also.. i made a slight foe par... Trish and i were standing around as a medium (much to the same effect of John Edwards) was about to come out; anyway this tall massive guy(Camp as a row of tents with a flower behind his ear) stood in front of Trisha and so i just said - "Oh, excuse me.." and he just turned around and in a very patronising manner told me he would be moving shortly.. yep... you guessed it.. it was the medium.. turns out i interrupted his "tuning".... lol quite amusing really. All he had to say was oh look i just need to blah blah blah.... but noooooooooo.. it would not have matched the theme of the day which was cranky pants'.

I did go and see a psychic while i was there (well.. that was the main attraction if you will for me) which was very interesting. I got to hear about some of my past lives.. by the 3rd one i had to ask if i could please have a good one now!!!! Lol.
Very interesting - she told me that i felt like ripping out my teeth at my job (got it in one sister) and was asking what i was doing there. She described exactly how i was feeling about it. I should have another job to go to but she also mentioned a very interesting career path that i (apparently am very talented at) which i may just investigate..
Massaging - i also asked about that and she said yeah.. its ok.. but she said i have to watch my shoulders.. which is interesting cos they bother me now and i only massage maybe once a week.

Very interesting... I know some people poo poo at this stuff and sometime they are way way off. But sometimes, some of these people know things that there is no possible way of them knowing..I love this stuff.

She taped it for me too.. i should have another listen when i get home. I keep getting her words popping into my head.

ALSO i got the new Beatles album... i think its wonderful...

Friday, November 17, 2006



Lovingly Mixed and re mastered by Sir George Martin and his son Giles.. i think they sound great.

Friday on my mind

Ahhhh yesss.. so its Friday afternoon....

I'm quite relieved its Friday... a sleep in would be magic tomorrow! But alas, they never seem to happen on the weekend... Mr whipper snipper man will always crank up and start serenading my ears with its high pitched squeal... failing that there are always at least 3 people mowing their lawns on Saturday mornings... ah well.. a lie in will also be nice.

My brother and my pa and i are seeing our new place for the first time tomorrow... which is a little bit exciting. Although, my future is still really up in the air. I'm going there but if its too hard to get to work i think i will have to move out. I do want to move out but bank doesn't really want to let me til at least mid next year. Man, how do people live? Its gets me.. i try and save my arse off but still... as Gilda Radner used to say "There's always SOMETHING"

I think i may go and check out the Mind,Body & Spirit Festival on in Darling Harbour this weekend.. i want to get my cards read again and also .. i might be able to pick up a few things for massaging was going to pop down after work but i know what I'm like.. especially at these things ill be consumed for ages and as it closes at 7 i don't want to be racing the clock.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I started my day today nearly falling over about 4 times just trying to get to my seat on the bus all the while giggling to myself. Got to tell you, there isn't much smiling on the bus.. and those who do (me) usually get a look of disgust along with a bit of a Skippy (clicking of the tongue)

The weather is nuts in Sydney right now.. i can hardly believe that its cold and rainy in November?? And there was Snow in Victoria?? Is it global warming or just one of those things that happens every now and again. I think its both.

Does anyone ever wake up and feel refreshed and rested? You do??? Come a little closer... so i can smack you in the chops. Ugh.. sleep and me don't always seem to work out the way id like. I did sleep though the whole night without waking up but had a really distressing dream... nightmares are so full on... the other night i had this weird dream with Vampires in it.. have a look at what its supposed to mean;

To see a vampire in your dream, symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to it. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic for someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship.


I love dreams, I love that anything is possible in them. I should write down my dreams more often... I should write more often full stop!

Christmas..... you sneaky lil devil you.. you just keep creeping up quietly until BAM!!!!! I'm surrounded by decorations and carols in shopping centres.. man. I HATE the shops around Christmas time... just absolute insanity...

I nearly fell asleep at my desk yesterday... i thought.. mmm ill just close my eyes for a moment... and after a bit things started turning into one big lulling hum.. and i knew i was going to start snoring if i didn't open my eyes... haha.. very close.. i have fallen asleep on the toilet at work before (note i was not using the toilet at the time, i went in there to rest my eyes) i think it was only for a few minutes though haha.
Also another thing that is bad to do in a cubicle by yourself.... is get the giggles...... not good to be giggling to ones self on the toilet..... yes... trust me on this.

Well i think that's quite enough of my dribble for a while..

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Que MASSIVE rant - It has come to my attention( a slight Epiphany) that perception is the key.

The key to peace of mind, the key to understanding and ultimately - the key to happiness. But its not that easy to change is it? Or is it?

To change or alter ones perceptions and pre-conceptions. Can it really be done? Well anything is possible... or so they say. I must say its something i wish to work on. Imagine, if you could change the way you think to the point of - not losing your temper when someone annoys you because ultimately you can see things from their side whilst still maintaining yours. Or All those little petty things that consume you, things you worry about at night. Imagine if you could finally put those to rest by seeing it through someone else's eyes. Truly.
Now that would be something wouldn't it?

I guess it comes down to that old saying also - 'Is the glass half full or half empty?' Without wanting to be; i must admit that i can be a half empty kind of girl which doesn't do much for me at the end of the day does it? So, i am trying to change which is easier said that done.

If you met your 10 year old self; what would he/she say to you? I think mine would laugh and then ask me to really tell them again what I'm doing with our life. That or punch me out... why is it dreams seem all the more vivid and attainable when we are young? Its because we don't know any better but then again why should we? A person without their dreams isn't much and that's for sure.

Its all about perception (with a splash of attitude too perhaps)...... end rant

Your so new...

So... here i am... how did i get here? Not sure, i shall have to get back to you on that one.

I decided to start one of these being that it seems to be one of the only sites i can get into during the day at work (my work has websense'ed everything just about) I wonder how long it will take for this one to disappear also. Time will tell.

I love writing, although i fear i lack the discipline to be a good writer. I guess its one of those things that you need to really apply yourself to but still i enjoy it. Its soothing although most times when i really need to pick up a pen i recoil; perhaps for the not really wanting to read what comes out.

I guess i will just learn as i go along with this.

I went to the Kylie Minogue concert last night... a different night out for me but at the same time perhaps just what i needed. I'm not what you would call a Kylie fan per say but i have grown up with her music around me in some way (dancing to her in competitions as a child, it seemed just about every year it was a Kylie Minogue song my teacher picked....)

I'm very bored at the moment, perhaps my main reason for starting this. Bored with most things..
I am, however looking forward to seeing today if a book i ordered has come in - Mediated :The Hidden Effects of the Media on You and Your World by Thomas de Zengotita.
It sounds fascinating.. i want to blow my mind y'know? perhaps i have my expectations turned on a little high but lets put it this way.. i cant wait to get my grubby little hands on it!

Well, i might leave it there... maybe ill write some more later... i might just try and get myself used to this site first..