Friday, December 15, 2006

Another Friday afternoon spent by me watching the clock.. trying to will it to move quicker but it never does.

Another weekend of Xmas shopping, meanwhile all of my efforts so far have essentially been futile.. shops filled with children chucking tantys in every isle. That one mum who has had enough and cracked it - "KYLE i swear to god you need to shut up now!!" while Kyle decides I'm keeping a pretty good pace and wants to keep up with me, pushy people knocking you over to get the latest (insert name of kids toy here)... hello... do i like like i will be venturing into that section.. well maybe.

It has been a very long week. I'm so tired and all i wish to do is be snuggled up in bed. Again the weather has decided to tell mother nature to shove it up her arse and has turned cold and rainy... I'm wearing a scarf... in December... its just not right.

Ill part on a good note...

In a world seemingly saturated in bad news.. here's a story to put a smile back on your face

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I can smell the change in the air.. its coming. I know it is. Actually, thats what this year has been about for me. I know i have changed... or is it addapted? When i look around me alot of my friends are settling down and what not... im not ready for that.. im still looking for ... well something else? Ol saggy baggy but once shaggy Jagger had it right when he sang, "I cant get no satisfaction".

I really look forward to next year. While this one, i guess hasnt been wonderful, I really cant complain as I have grown so much I cant say it was a bad year.

Totally off topic for a moment but do you think its possible for someones voice to make your ears bleed.. to shred them with their shrill vernacular.. cos mine are pretty close to needing a bandaid. You know the type who overacsentuates the "s" in every word... and heaven forbid if the word ends in "s" or is a plural you will be there for a fucking fortnight while they finish the word...

sorry.. where was I?

Oh yes.. change.. change is good. I have also been thinking. Everything is what you make it, and if you WANT to do something you will. I just have to keep telling myself just one week and 2 days left of work until xmas and i am OUT OF HERE for a few weeks.

My good friend Trish has a fabulous idea for new years. Instead of new years resolutions.. which you never stick to.. write down all the things you would like to achive and be doing this time next year, put it in an envelope and dont open it until next year.. i will be interesting to see what happens.. what you do achieve or how you change ro what you might just laugh at! Who knows! I think its an interesting experiment.

As for New Years Eve.... I have NO idea what im doing yet. There are a few parties and such but to be honest at this stage i prob wouldnt mind staying in with a book and a bottle of wine.

Where have all the manners gone?

Where i ask?? How have they slipped through our generations finger tips? Do we not have the same values today... well when you have girls looking to Paris Hilton for a role model you know we are in some deep deep shit.

As for Chivalry.. i dont think anyone remember what that means anymore. Now i consider myself an independent woman and yet im still disgusted to find that men no long offer seats to women. On the bus this morning and i was standing and behind me was an older woman maybe around 50, now i certainly do not want to be offensive to her and if she didnt want to sit thats fine but i couldnt believe that littereally surounded by men sitting down not one of them offered her their seat.. Not only that, they just about knocked me over to get off the bus when it stopped not waiting for me to go past.. oh no. Or could it just be the city that does this to people, you know the kill or be killed mind set?

To get ahead in business now its the manipulative, shrewd, stab you in the back to get ahead types who are... well.. getting ahead. Whilst i appreciate that to succeed in anything you do you need to have strong convictions and great faith in yourself, when did that turn into this horrible personality that we seem to be seeing more and more of everyday. Not saying of course that its a new thing, im sure its been going on for centurys.

Its just sad that nature in people seems to be polluting everywhere. I guess it shouldnt shock me so much but i just refuse to accept that this is how people behave.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Last night i cried like i have not cried in a long time..... no not for myself..... but for a character on a TV show... thats right.. you heard correctly. I spent most of the show bawling my eyes out uncontrollably for someone who doenst exsist!

I dont consider myself a massvie cryer and that in itself may not be a great thing (there is nothing wrong with having a cry) all thouhgh.. i nearly cried in the dentist chair on Saturday but thats a different story. But last night..... as soon as Cyril (a mentally retarded prisoner in OZ) was getting his head shaved to be electrocuted the water works just erupted. His brother with him trying to hide his emotions so as not to worry Cyril (who didnt know what was happening).

Well i wont recant the whole thing but he was saved at the last minute.. although i didnt watch the other episode I had to tape it. So who knows.

It was just incredible. The show is really well written. Considering most of the themes etc make me feel sick yet im still back every week watching; its really something..

At work today and as usual i am struggling to keep my mind on track long enough to actually get anything done. Its not my fault.. I blame lack of sleep.. the usual suspect.

Lord im just so bored here, mentally bored.
Shain made me think yesterday. He was talking about the idea 'does what you are doing make a difference' the bleak but glaringly obvious in my case is NO! So what am i doing.. really? When did i become a slave for the dollar? [that statement in itself is quite comedic really as I dont earn enough to be doing this really.] I could be doing something great. I could.. I can and I will.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

I just want to get down this dream i had last night.. it was truely strange. Although really, i guess i should call it a nightmare..

It started with me leaving my work to go to the bank. There are people outside the cafe downstairs and because i see an old man down there i ask him where one is (although i already know) to make him feel helpful. (??? Yes i know but thats dream logic for you) So i turn where he leads and see an ally way i have not noticed before(it looks like VIC markets and also the old parramatta near Hungrey Jacks) As i am walking i realise that i am now near what seems an industrial area/field and i realise that the old man is quite a while back but i feel evil intent now and so i start to walk faster.
I now realise that this has been a trap and the only way to get anyone to her me to sing as loud as i can (yes thats right Mr Freud) so im singing Pinks new single (why its not David Bowies Cracked Actor i dont know as im wearing out the track) and racing round the corner is Leanne (a chick i used to go to highschool with??? Just an aquintance mind you) and a small guy. They point to their car as we hear gunfire and the old man is now trying to shoot me. I get in the car and huddle under the blanket when i realise they are not getting in the car.

That is all i can really remember.. that and something to do with lifts.....

Although it doesnt sound scary its funny how much dreams can rattle you .. cos i was awake for a long time trying to nut this one out.... so was it trying to tell me lol that singing will save my life?